A ZEN STORY

by Camden Benares, The Count of Five
      Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal

A serious youth found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. They went to many people seeking a way of resolving within themself the discords that troubled them, but remained troubled.

One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to them, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate."

They did just as the Zen Master instructed. Their meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. They worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash they were sitting on. They worried how would they know when the moon rose on the next night. They worried about what the people who walked through the room said about them.

Their worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of their faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto them. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the person was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say they are a saint. Others say they are a shithead."

Hearing this, the youth was enlightened.